I am having a hard time writing a thoughtful blog post. I have written multiple rough drafts in the past few weeks, but each time I read them back over they just sound off. Off in a way that a few word changes and paragraph structures can’t fix. Our time in Costa Rica has been incredible, don’t get me wrong. However, we’ve been dealing with some things that have left me a bit uninspired. I wanted to mask these feelings by writing about something happy, but nothing seems to be coming out right. Everything I’m writing is obviously hiding the feelings I’m having. It’s awkward, choppy, and has way too many exclamation points (if you can imagine that). I can’t get down to my real thoughts and feelings about the topics I’m writing about because these feelings are masked with negativity of the past few weeks. They aren’t what people want to read. And they aren’t what I want people to read either. I just can’t shake this feeling. It’s frustrating because I know how much this writing process has meant to me and the feedback I get from all of my friends and family is inspiring. It keeps me going. But I still just can’t get rid of this melancholy feeling.
To be a little clearer for those who are obviously confused and probably worried (family, I know you are reading this please stop hyperventilating, I’m fine), nothing horrible has happened. Jake and I are still alive, happy, and enjoying our time in Costa Rica. However, something happened that left us feeling a bit misunderstood, frustrated, and, for me, just plain sad. It happened and is done, but it still has had lasting effects on this poor sensitive soul who wears her heart on her sleeve (talking about myself). I am going to try and get a blog post out soon, but I can’t bring myself to post something that depicts a false reality. After multiple attempts of writing something else, I have realized that I don’t think anything can go out without first writing this to get things off my chest. One thing I’ve learned throughout my life is that honesty is the best policy, and I can’t be afraid to put my feelings out there, no matter how awkward it may be. More blogs will be in the works soon as I try and find my inspiration once again. I love you all. Thanks for your endless support, encouragement, and love throughout this adventure.